LOVE QUESTIONED 

JOHN 21:15-19 

          The passage that we have just read is one of the occasions where Jesus met with his disciples after his resurrection.  After finishing the meal Jesus turns to Peter and as him the same question 3 times.  The question that Jesus asks him is related to Peter’s level of love for Christ.  Now some, recognizing that Peter denied the Lord 3 times on the night prior to the crucifixion, might see this as a simple rebuke of Peter for his prior actions.  I do not believe this to be passage to be attached to a rebuke of Peter.  Why do I say this?

MARK 16:7

          Here Jesus gives instruction that the disciples and especially Peter is to be told that he would see them in Galilee.  He singles out Peter because after Peter’s great denial he would be ashamed and probably not consider himself worthy to be a disciple.  Jesus knew that he would have to patch Peter back up.  Peter would need emotional as well as spiritual healing.  For he had let the master down shortly after he had sworn to never do so.  Maybe you have never felt that you have greatly let God down since you accepted Christ as savior.  Or maybe you cannot remember what it felt like to have so disappointed God.  But I know that Peter had to feel so disgusted with himself.  He had to feel lower than a dung hill, worthless, unfit to be called a disciple and unworthy of being in the group.  It is likely that without special urging Peter would not have gone with the group to meet Jesus in Galilee.

I CORINTHIANS 15:1-5

          This passage says that Jesus met with Peter and then with the disciples.  We don’t know when exactly this happens, but there was a private meeting of Peter and Jesus.  I believe that it is at this meeting that Jesus showed mercy and compassion to Peter; forgiving him of his betrayal; reminding him that though he was hurt by it he was neither shocked or overwhelmed by it.  For he himself had already told Peter it would happen.  I can imagine Jesus saying to Peter “it is time to move on.  I told you in Luke 22:32 that when this was all over and you had returned to me I would be counting on you to strengthen your brethren.”  “I forgive you Peter.  Now it is time to go to work”.   Unlike us, Jesus would not even allow the betrayal of one of his closest confidants to hinder the work that was to be done in establishing the church.  We unlike Jesus will try to hold a grudge or try to put the person out from among the believers.  We are so quick to forget that on occasions we have been guilty of betrayal.

          I believe that the luncheon in John 21 had to occur after the private meeting between Jesus and Peter.  For here we see Peter so excited to see Jesus again that he jumps into the see and swims to shore rather than wait for the boat to get there.  These are not the actions of a man who is feeling hurt and unworthy.  These are the actions of someone who has been forgiven and restored.

          So why ask Peter 3 times, “Lovest thou me more than these”?  Before we discuss why three times let’s talk about the question itself.  Jesus asked loves though me more than theses.  To what does “these” refer?  There are two equally acceptable answers.  It may be that Jesus swept his hand around the boat, its nets and all of the equipment and tools used to catch fish.  If that is the case then Jesus would have essentially been asking Peter “Are you prepared to give up all, to abandon your trade; to give up a steady job and reasonable comfort in order to give yourself to the work I have called you to do.”  In other words he may have been asking Peter of his willingness to sacrifice all for his love for Christ. If this is what Jesus means then Peter is simply being asked the same question that all of us are asked once we are converted from sinner to being a child of God.  We are asked if we are willing to give up our hopes and dreams; to give up what we may deem as a successful career, a comfortable life, family, friends, all that we attribute to having earthly security; all for the love of Christ.  Maybe Jesus is asking Peter as he does us “are you ready to be totally committed to me”.

          The other option is that when Jesus said “these” he pointed to the other disciples.  If so maybe Jesus was giving Peter a little reminder that he did not stand above the others.  Maybe he was reminding Peter that though he was to become a leader of the bunch he was to remain humble.  He was not to be the arrogant Peter who had declared, “Though everyone else flees, I alone will stand with you”.  Maybe Jesus was reminding Peter that a position of leadership does not make him better than, more special than or more important than his fellow disciples.  We must be careful not to get the big head when God promotes us.  Leadership positions on our Jobs, in our communities and in the church should not cause us to think more highly of ourselves than we do of others.  We are to thank God for the grace and mercy of God upon our lives and recognize that the same grace and mercy is available to all who will accept it.

          Now why three time?  Well I believe that Jesus asked the question 3 times because He was trying to drive home a point and Peter kept answering wrongly.  Jesus needed to teach the disciples the one basic essential for ministry. None of them, not even a charismatic leader such as Peter, could ever minister and bear godly fruit unless he could love the flock of God. A person may be the most gifted in the world, but he is nothing and can do nothing of value in God's eyes unless he first loves.

I CORINTHIANS 13:1-3

Abilities, talents, gifts, commitments, good deeds, and works just do not qualify a man before God nor make a man acceptable to God. The one great thing—in fact the only thing—that makes a man acceptable and that qualifies him to serve God is love.  Love is the necessary ingredient because as humans we are often the most unlovable creatures in God’s creation.  We can be mean and hateful, backbiting, lazy, complaining about what others do but unwilling to do anything ourselves, fault finding, grudge holding, most self-righteous people in the world and yet call ourselves children of God.  It takes love to deal with and care for people and it often takes more love to deal with those who are in the household of God than it does to deal with the sinner.  We know that the sinner is doing exactly what he is supposed to do but we expect more from one another and thus we are more hurt, more angry, more unforgiving and less loving when we feel betrayed, hurt or unaccepted by one another.

I PETER 4:8

          We are told to have eager, enthusiastic, passionate, burning love for one another.  Such a love as this will cause us to overlook a multitude of flaws in one another. In John 21 Jesus needed to teach the disciples about this kind of love.

          Note that though the three questions appear to be the same there are differences. Question one asked Peter who he loved the most, the Lord Himself or "these." This question causes Peter to draw a comparison, focusing on what is most important to him or on his own character.  Jesus asked “Peter agape me more than these.”  Peter replies “yes Lord I agape you”.

Question two asked Peter if he loved with God's love. In other words Jesus says to him “Peter are you saying that you love me with the same love that God has for me”?  It is obvious that Peter replied to the first question without really thinking about what he was saying.  Agapē is the highest form of love, the love of God Himself. It is a love that goes beyond feeling to the will and reasoning of a person. It is a love that is born of choice; one simply chooses to love regardless of feelings. A person may insult, injure, or humiliate you; but agapē love chooses to seek only the highest good for that person. It is sacrificial love, a love that is willing to die even for its enemies.

Agapē love was so new and so unusual, it was said that after Christ a new word for love had to be created. A love that would cause one to die for his enemies had not been heard of or experienced.  Jesus wanted Peter to understand and possess this type of love, for it would be necessary in shepherding the flock of God. Jesus knew and wanted Peter to understand that there is a love that comes from reason and will, that allows man to control the corruptible lusts and wandering thoughts of life, that puts a willingness within a man to serve and to die for all men, even for a person's enemies. It is this type of love that will drive us to live holy and in obedience to God.  This is the love that Jesus meant when he said in John 14:15 “If you love me, keep my commandments.”  The God kind of love will cause us to sacrifice our greatest desires and even our lives as we stand in obedience to Christ.  The God kind of love will cause us to share the great plan of salvation with others not because we have feeling for them but because we know it is the will of God that we do so and because it demonstrates the greatest act of love every shown to man.  Even the enemies of God must hear the gospel and have an opportunity for salvation.

 

So in question two Jesus asks Peter “Are you saying that you love me with the same love demonstrated by God?”  Now Peter understands that there is a difference in what Jesus is asking him and his intended answer.  Jesus asks “do you agape me?” Peter replies “Lord you know that I Phileo you”.  Phileo love is the love of tender affection, of warm and deep feelings within the heart. It is the deep and precious love of those near and dear to one's heart. It is brotherly love, a love between family members, a love that would die for its brother.

What Jesus was doing was preparing His disciples for a new kind of love that was yet to come. Agape was a love that both God and Jesus possessed but the men of that time.  Up to the time of Christ's death and ascension, the greatest love known to man was phileō love, the willingness of a man to die for a friend. But in Christ, God was showing the world a new kind of love—agapē love. The word Agape existed but Jesus the world had no practical sense of the meaning of the word.  It was an abstract term.  After Jesus, Agapē became the love that was willing to give and die even for an enemy. The early Christian leaders recognized this new dimension of love, so they lifted the meaning of agapē love up to God's love for the world. Agapē love is the highest level of love possible; it is the love of God: "God [who] so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

In question 2 Jesus says “Do you agape me”.  Now with understanding Peter replies “Lord you know that I phileo you; I have deep brotherly love for you.” One might think that Peter’s reply would have ended the issue.

Question three probed the genuineness and loyalty of Peter's love. Here Jesus descended to the human level of love. He simply asked, "Peter, do you really phileō me—even as a brother?" This questioning of the loyalty of his love grieved Peter. We all want to think that we truly love God and Jesus.  But if we were today standing with Jesus having him question us in the same way, would we too find that our love for him is questioned to the point of grieving us.  So often love has become just another word for us.  It is followed up with little or no actions and in fact often what we show one another is a lack of love.  Not only do we find it difficult to walk in agape love – the love that will cause us to die to ourselves for our enemies, we can not even walk in phileo love – the love that will cause us to die to ourselves for the brethren. 

      Because love is such a great requirement for the Children of God, we should stop often to evaluate our love life.  We cannot glorify God and lack love for one another.  John 13:35 tells us “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”

      Another point that we should see from the passage in John 21 is that love carries with it both responsibility and sacrifice.   Each time Peter answered yes I love you, Jesus responds with feed my lambs or sheep.  In other words he says, “Since you say you love me, give your life to shepherding my flock.”  Jesus may not be calling you to pastor or shepherd his flock, but I can guarantee you that there is some responsibility attached to your love claim.  If your love is true, then give yourself to determining what that responsibility might be.

In terms of sacrifice, Jesus assured Peter in John 21:18-19 that his love would one day reach the ultimate height. Peter would one day be called upon to demonstrate agapē love, the sacrificial love of God. He would be called upon to die for Christ, to give his life in preaching the love of God to those who did not care to hear it and who reacted violently against it.  Like Jesus, Peter one day went to the cross, dying because of his love for God and his responsibility to preach the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the enemies of God.

When Jesus questioned Peter’s love Peter might have been a little shaky on the answers.  He may not have understood initially the difference in agape and phileo love.  But Jesus told him that one day his love would be tested by the ultimate sacrifice of death.  Peter may have missed every question on the oral exam on love, but he scored 100 on the practical application test. 

John encourages us in I John 3:18 saying “My little children, let us not love in word (just in doctrine), neither in tongue (by profession only); but in deed (definite acts) and in truth (by being genuine).  Jesus in preparing the disciples to do ministry in his absence, questioned the love of Peter.  Can we today take time to question our love not only for God but also for one another?  A church divided with not stand and a church without love cannot glorify God.  As preventive maintenance let’s do a love check-up.