CHILDREN – PRECIOUS IN GOD’S SIGHT 

EPHESIANS 6:1-4 

As I began to seek the Lord about this week’s message, it was impressed upon me to do something related to the children. Now, though I started with this scripture from Ephesians, I want to take a detour for a moment and talk about some other aspects relating to children before I come back to the topic of obeying and honoring parents. 

PSALMS 127:3

          Here children are described as an inheritance or a blessing.  In fact when we were younger we sang a song, Jesus Loves the Little Children, all the children of the world.  Red and Yellow, black and white, they’re all precious in His sight.  Jesus loves the little children of the world.  But the truth of the matter is, sometimes children don’t seem like such a blessing.  I am not saying that we love them any less, but sometimes they are more work than we want and more than a handful to handle.  This seems to be especially true during the teenage years.  As parents we love them, but we wish they could be like caterpillars; wrap themselves up in a cocoon, go through those hormone and testosterone changes, and then evolve as more matured versions of the babies we initially had.  In their teenage years they seem to be irritating, stubborn, lazy and just out right rebellious.  But as I began to think about this, God began to show me the beauty that can be born from irritation, stubbornness, laziness and rebellion.

Irritation

          Right now Mykal is in this stage where he can be as irritating and athletic feet trapped in a pair of army boots.  The sad part is that Claude, Tanesha and I are convinced that he is purposely trying to irritate us.  But you know what; one of the most valued jewels in the world is a result of an irritation.  That jewel is the pearl.  A pearl is an abnormal growth in a clam resulting from the invasion of the body of the clam by a small particle of foreign matter such as a fine grain of sand.  In other words, a grain of sand gets into the clam and irritates it much like a popcorn husk under the gum.  In an effort to rid itself of its irritation the clam secrets a chemical it hopes will destroy the irritant.  Instead of destroying the irritant, the chemical hardens around the grain of sand making it a larger irritant.  The clam gets more irritated and secrets more chemical, which again hardens around the sand.  Now mind you, if the sand could talk, it would tell you that it does not want to be in the clam any more than the clam wants it to be there.  It is trapped.  I believe it takes about 7 years for the sand to become a pearl.  If the sand manages to find it’s way out of the clam before the process is complete, it will not develop into the beautiful pearl it had the potential to become.  This kind of reminds me of Claude and Mykal.  Mykal irritates, Claude disciplines, Mykal irritates some more Claude disciplines some more and the cycle goes on and on.  Mykal however, whines, “Why won’t dad just leave me alone”.  You see Mykal does not realize that those imperfections like misbehaving, pouting, lying, etc that are wedged in his character can not stay their.  If they do, he will never develop into the man that he has the potential to be. 

MATTHEW 13:45-46

          Mykal may not understand today, but one day he will appreciate the fact that he has developed into a man that any woman would want to marry, any employer would want to hire, any organization would elect as its leader, and any child would want has his father.  He will be a pearl of great price. 

Stubborn

          I sometimes believe that this is how Charlain would describe Ronald.  He wants to have his own way and will even go to the extreme to get it.  But under the right conditions, Ronald may one day turn out to be a diamond.  You see a diamond starts out as a hunk of black coal.  How that black coal turns into a beautiful clear, crystal, diamond is still a great debate among geologists.  What is known is that it requires tremendous heat and pressure for carbon to be transformed into a diamond.  In fact it is believed that diamonds are produced in the molten rock of larva, where there is great heat and pressure, far below the surface of the earth.  Ronald may wonder, why Charlain is so hard on him; why she is always putting pressure on him to do well in school and to do other things that he just does not want to do.  It is this pressure and that fire that Charlain lights under him from time to time that will transform him into the precious jewel that he can become.  He is now a diamond in the rough, but without proper heat and pressure he may well end up as a hunk of coal. 

EXODUS 28:15-21

          The breastplate being described here was to be worn by the high priest.  The stones in the breastplate represented the twelve tribes of Israel.  The sixth stone was a diamond and represented the tribe of Naphtali.  The name Naphtali means my wrestling (referring to Rachel’s wrestling with Leah for Jacobs’s affection.  Though she was barren she was too stubborn to give up, and sought other means of giving her husband children – Bilhah her handmaiden.)  Another interesting observation about the diamond is that it is not used as one of the stones in the temple in the New Jerusalem (Rev. 21:18-21).  Though diamonds are the precious and expensive of all gem stones it is not used in the temple.  Diamonds are also the hardest of all stones being used to engrave steel and to sharpen steel cutting tools.  Could it be that diamonds are so hard and stubborn that they try to resist even the hand of God and thus have been excluded from the great privilege of being used by God in His Holy temple? 

 Lazy

          Now lazy points me to Tanesha.  She has lots of potential but she lacks the willingness to work hard for anything.  If it is easy or something she likes doing she may work a little, but don’t expect her to work hard.  She is very intelligent and gifted in many areas, but those gifts and talents will be wasted if that lazy streak in her has its way.  Tanesha is like gold.  It has lots of potential but it’s value is determined by the trials it is willing to endure. 

I PETER 1:6-7

          Gold in its natural state is impure and must go through several refining stages in order to increase its value.  The potential to be of value is hidden in each nugget.  Whether that potential is realized or not depends on the refining process.  To refine gold, it must be heated to very high temperatures.  This separates the impurities from the pure gold.  The refiner heats the gold, driving the impurities to the top.  He then removes the impurities, turns the heat up and drives off more impurities.  This is done until the refiner can see a perfect reflection of himself in the gold.  He then knows the gold is pure.  Tanesha is like gold.  If Claude and I turn the heat up on her slowly then we see small changes in her actions and character.  However, if we leave her alone she will be content with just being mediocre.  We have to keep turning the heat up a little at a time so that she can have an opportunity to reach her fullest potential.  She may think that we are looking to see our own reflections in her but she is wrong.  We are looking to see her become whatever God desires her to be. 

Rebellious

          The rebellious child does not want to follow the norm.  They have their own ideas about what they want to do and will often set about doing as they please with no regard for the consequences.  The go against the grain at every opportunity and always do the unexpected.  But parents do not be disheartened with a rebellious child.  Jesus himself was a rebel.  Even from an early age he would not simply follow the customary way of doing things.  In Luke chapter 2, He got left in Jerusalem because he was not with the other children as he should have been.  It is not that he disobeyed; he simply did not do what they expected him to do.  He did not follow the norm.  It was not customary for the children to go and hang around the temple.  They generally stayed with the women and fellowshipped with the other children.  This was like a big family reunion or church home coming.  Jesus, at 12 did not want to play with the other children.  There were more important things he wanted to do.  At 33, Jesus was still getting in trouble because he would not hang out with the other religious leaders as they expected him to do.  He rebelled and did the unexpected, hanging out with prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors and general all purpose sinners.  But because Jesus rebelled against Jewish laws and customs, mankind has and opportunity for the most precious gift of all – salvation.  

PROVERBS 29:15

          A child who is left to himself or herself to do what he or she chooses will not produce fine jewels and precious metals.  A child left alone to do what he or she wants will produce shame.  Therefore, God has given parents the awesome responsibility of turning up the heat, applying pressure, and spewing out discipline in love when needed.  But not only does God give parents responsibility, He also leaves instructions for the children. 

EPHESIANS 6:1-4

          There are two commands given to children here, obey your parents and honor your parents.  Now to you children those two commands might seem like the same thing, but they are not.  To obey means to do as instructed.  To honor means to show or demonstrate high respect for.  Honor has to do with the attitude where obey has to do with actions.  Honor is demonstrated in how you talk to your parents and how you respond to their instructions to do something.  Now I know that you don’t always agree with our rules and that you think that we are hard on you and don’t understand why you should be allowed to do certain things.  You might even ask why you should have to do it our way all the time.  Well there are four reasons given right here.

1.     It is the right thing to do.  Parents will not intentionally lead you the wrong way, where you friends will.  Parents have a bit more wisdom than you do and have had to live through a few more life experiences than you have.  And yes, we know more than you do.

2.     It is a command.  Whether you like it or not, God has put parents in charge of you.  God likes order.  He put parents over children, but he put Jesus over parents.  If you don’t like the decisions your parents are making go to their boss and complain.  If he believes thinks should be different, he can surely make it happen.  But your arguing back will get you no where.

3.     Obeying and honoring you parents brings with it a blessing of well being.  You stand a better chance that things in your life will work out okay if you listen to your parents.  Why, simply because they have more experience than you.  They see things from a different perspective than you and they know better how to play the game of life than you do.  They have already fell in the holes and traps and therefore can often see the same pitfalls in front of you.

4.     Obeying and honoring your parents brings with it the promise of long life.  The first four commandments address obeying and honoring God.  The 5^th addresses honoring and obeying your parents and it is the only commandment that was given with a promise, long day or long life. 

EXODUS 21:15, 17

     Just as there was a promise of long life for honoring one’s parents there was a punishment of death for dishonoring parents.  There are so many young people who have ended up dead or in prison for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  No one every expects to be in trouble.  There is not one you Black man in prison who decided before hand that he wanted to go to jail and jail for a Black man is death.  It cuts off almost all opportunity for a good life. 

     Understand that parents are not trying to keep you died down and make your life miserable.  We are trying to save your life and help you make decisions that will lead to a better quality of life.  So work with us people. 

EPHESIANS 6:4

     Did you notice that this scripture did not say parents or mothers, but rather it said fathers?  Fathers are not to abuse their privilege and responsibility as family leader and provoke the children.  Fathers are to avoid severity, anger, harshness, and cruelty in dealing with their children.  Fathers do not break their spirits, because a wounded spirit who can bear.  Correct them, love them, lead them but do not provoke them. 

To you children it may seem unfair that God fixed it so you don’t really have a lot of choices about what you can and cannot do.  It may seem unbearable that you have to suffer through these years obeying parents and not getting to do whatever you want to do.

HEBREWS 5:8-9

     Jesus himself learned obedience by suffering through and doing the will of His Father.

     Children are a blessing.  But right now they are irritating grains of sand, hunks of coal and impure gold.  However with the right pressure, heat and circumstances they will emerge as rare pearls, beautiful diamond and pure gold.